Catscratch CATS
by FlowerofAdversity
Summary: With not enough human actors for the recent production of CATS, the theatre crew decided to recruit actual cats for the roles, and Waffle thinks this would lead to the role of a lifetime...


Note: My first Catscratch fan fiction. There have been open casting calls for the recent production of "Cats" and there aren't enough humans to fill the roles ! Waffle, who happens to be reading the newspaper one day, reads about the open casting call tells Mr. Blik and Gordon all about what he has read dancing about the mansion. Blik thinks that perhaps having a role in the musical would make Katilda notice him, but she knows he's crushing on her anyway.

How will the production of CATS fair when these three troublemakers are on the set ? Anything could happen.

Chapter 1—Catnaps, Interrupted

Hovis was taking a much needed nap after running around the mansion waiting on his masters, the cats. Suddenly, he was awoken with a sudden high-pitched "SPLEEEEEE !", which came from none other than Waffle. He sprung up from his bed, clutching his heart and landing upon the soft carpet next to the king-sized bed. He breathed deeply and caught his breath while he heard the sounds of grousing and complaining from the other cats, Gordon and Blik.

"SPLEEEEEE !", Waffle continued as he ran about the mansion in a mindless manner, one hand holding the newspaper up in the air like a banner in triumph over a faux battle won and the other extended as if to say, "Look at me, and how free I am, and envy me !" First he ran into Gordon, who had already started complaining.

"Watch where ya runnin' there, laddy. Ya bout put me eye out with that blasted periodical.", Gordon crabbed.

"But, Gordon, LOOK !", Waffle said, with abandon, pointing to an ad that read in bold Arial type...

"_CATS_ casting call open to all, including felines. No, we're not kidding. We're desperate."

"Get Blik in here, he needs to see this too !", Waffle pleaded with adoring bedroom eyes that could melt the heart of a stone man.

Blik came storming in, wondering what the commotion had been about. He crossed his arms in annoyance and nearly yelled at Waffle until he saw the casting call.

"Think about it Blik, you could impress Katilda. Who knows, she might even try for the part of Griselda. Couldn't you just _picture_ her ? Oh, she would be magnificent !", Waffle said, sighing.

"You're not crushing on my girl are you ?", Blik asked, with a raised eyebrow and showing his clenched teeth.

"No no, wouldn't dream of it. Not to worry, Blik !", Waffle answered, reassuringly, noticing Blik's fangs retreated into his mouth and all that was left was a sly smile. Gordon was staring off into space, thinking how Kimberly would react if she saw him play the role of the Rum Tum Tugger (the role he was _destined_ to play). Yet, Blik was the one to bring them back into reality.

"Hovis ?", Blik said, with a devilish grin.

"Yes, Master Blik ?", Hovis asked, still a little ticked off his nap had been interrupted.

"Rev up the limo. We have a casting call to attend to.", Blik said, clapping his hands together in a rather curt, and snobby way. Hovis sighed and simply said, "Yes, Master Blik.", and did what he was told.

Chapter 2—At The Theatre

As soon as the cats arrived at the theatre, Hovis watched them from the audience and despite himself, he was cheering them on. Even though, a long time ago, Miss Cramdilly had bequeathed the cats to him, he felt as if he was their friend, not just their butler.

Of all cats, Katilda had also appeared for the audition.

"Just your luck, you rascal. Wait ! She's going ta sing !", Gordon said, nudging a doe-eyed Mr. Blik in the ribcage playfully. Katilda began singing a rather rousing and heartfelt version of _Memory_, perhaps the most resplendent one anyone had ever heard. If any creature deserved this role of Grizelda more, it was Katilda herself.

Gordon sang the reprise from the musical, Waffle sang _Ukulele Sue_ for some strange reason, and Mr. Blik sang _Old Deuteronomy, _which was also from "Cats". They were all received well by the audience, who were impressed that they were cats themselves, since they had such stupendous voices and were engaging to watch. They weren't expecting to be selected to be part of the cast, but they went their way after their audition and returned to the mansion, thinking that the casting call had been in all good fun as they were treated to lavish dinners before going to sleep and dreaming about what tomorrow would bring. At last, the Butler, Hovis, could get some peace and quiet, until the next day's adventure began.

Chapter 3—Callbacks

The phone rang, startling a sleeping Hovis from a pleasant reverie. Then came a high-pitched squeal from Waffle.

"You'll never believe this ! I have the best news !", he proclaimed jubilantly.

"What now, Waffle ? Can't it wait ? I'm playing Guitar Hero 2, and I NEED TO PRACTICE !", Blik yelled back, trying to match all of his cues perfectly. It was a particularly difficult song, on a rather hard level.

"Guitar Hero 2 can _wait_, Blik.", Waffle said, with his eyes shining merrily.

"Listen to him, Blik. This seems important, the lad's got _hope_ in his eyes.", Gordon suggested with sincerity and compassion in his voice.

"We've been called back ! Isn't that tremendous ?!", Waffle said, practically dancing.

"I...can't believe it ! They like me...They _really_ like me !", Blik said, dramatically, holding an Oscar-look-alike.

"Don't make your acceptance speech just yet, Blik. We've got rehearsals to attend.", Gordon reminded him. Blik sighed. He realized that Gordon was right, and despite the fact that rehearsals were hard work, he and his brethren had a commitment to keep. If Blik didn't participate, they would find another to take his place. He couldn't allow that to happen if he wanted to showcase his talents (as well as his endless adoration) to the beatific Katilda.

Chapter 4—Weeks and Weeks of Work

Day by day the cats learned their lines and Hovis took time out of his schedule that was usually taken to catch up on his daytime soaps, but honestly, he was rapt in the production of the musical, which was going along swimmingly. He had forgotten how tragic the story of Grizelda was, and whenever the song _Memory_ was sung so elegantly by Katilda, he found himself crying.

He thought now, "Daytime drama can wait. It's far less important than all of the magic I am experiencing."

Gordon had fit into his role of the Rum Tum Tugger perfectly, while Mr. Blik was the Magical Mister Mestophales. Waffle was one of the chorus cats, who got to sing some of the most show stopping pieces, and do all the dancing and schmoozing with the audience. Yet, they all envied Gordon, since he would have the pleasure to fish a pretty woman out of the audience and _kiss_ her.

"It's gotta be the luck of the Irish. I swear...I gots to get me some of that luck you gots.", Waffle said one night before going through dress rehearsal again. Waffle wasn't the brightest bulb, and this sometimes grated on the other cat's nerves, but that's what made both of them love him even more.

"I'm Scottish, but it's still luck, you're absolutely right.", Gordon said, slapping Waffle heartily on the back.

Soon, it was opening night, and all the cast gathered together for a quick prayer before the curtains were to be opened. Instead of performing in front of a small audience of their peers and having a tiny orchestra, the soundstage would multiply that sound ten times over to give the audience the illusion that a grand orchestra of 100 was playing Andrew Lloyd Weber's beloved score that all fans adored and newcomers could come to thrill to.

Chapter 5—The Magic of Theatre

Waffle had met his cues well and was having a grand time playing in the cast along with the humans. Being in cat costumes, it was hard to tell they were actually human beings, since they played their roles so well. He had never had so much fun in all of his life, save the times he played around the mansion with his brothers, Hovis and his beloved newts.

Gordon sang with passion and fervor and was pleased to see Kimberly in the audience. He wanted to pull her on stage so badly, but she was sitting further away from the orchestra. Sadly, she couldn't be reached. Yet, that didn't really matter to Gordon. She was enjoying herself and the look on her face when she listened to music was lovelier than an angel. Her smile illuminated the entire room. To him, that's what really mattered, making her happy. And he had done that in his slightly provocative role. It was the first time he had ever played a tease, and to be honest, it was quite liberating. Even if it was the only time he would be pretending to be a sex symbol, the whole experience was timeless.

Blik's cue was approaching and he was somewhat nervous. The others reassured him, he would do well. He could sing and dance and leap as well as the others on stage, but he had to say, ballet was extremely challenging. It was no wonder human ballet dancers were so fit and trim. They _had_ to be to have such balance, grace, fitness and muscle tone to keep them upright and elegant. He was relieved this knowledge and training was suiting him well, yet, he was well aware that his muscles would be sore by the end of this performance.

As the final reprise was sung, the cast came out for its final bow and the audience gave a standing ovation. Kimberly tossed a bouquet of yellow roses with all of her might directly at Gordon and he smiled.

"I wonder if she understands how I truly feel...", he mused, but shook off the notion of pursuing such a relationship if it were possible. Even if it was, it probably wouldn't last, but just the fact that she was such a good friend to him was all that truly mattered.

Katilda came to embrace Blik and congratulate him for portraying Mister Mestophales so incredibly well.

"No cat could've done it any better. I never knew you had it in you !", she said, looking into his eyes deeply in a profound manner. Blik felt as if his blood were bubbling up from his feet and erupting as a volcano would in his heart. If this was what love actually was, he could understand why all manner of creatures had difficulty understanding or explaining its mysterious ways.

"Thank you, Katilda. Your words touch me. I really appreciate your praise.", he said, savoring her embrace for as long as he could. And just like magic, she kissed him. This indeed, was the beginning of a beautiful romance.

Chapter 6—Mr. Nice Blik

Since the time of being kissed, Blik had become so much friendlier and nicer. True, he still had that spoiled manner about him, the "Divo" mentality he was known for so well. Yet, he had been far more congenial to his brothers than he had been in days prior to the kiss. Katilda was often seen coming around the mansion, and she would leave with Blik until the late hours of the night. Waffle had no idea what was going on, so he figured now was a good time to teach him about the inner workings of romance.

"When two creatures of the opposite sex come together, they will sometimes accompany each other on dates. Thus begins the courtship ritual.", Gordon said, and then hung his head.

"We should be happy he's having such a good time.", Waffle said, but his optimism soon ended as Gordon pulled him into a strong half-nelson sort of embrace.

"And if he falls in love tonight, it can be assumed…", Gordon sang, beatifically. Then, Waffle's eyes began to water as he joined him in the end of the refrain.

"His every days with us are history; in short our pal is doomed !"

Then the two hugged each other and cried overflowing rivers of tears as they patted each other on the back sympathetically.

Epilogue 

"_Cats_" had been a life-changing experience for the brothers, but it hadn't separated them as Gordon and Waffle had originally thought when it brought Blik and Katilda closer. However, Blik had times in which he just wanted to hang out with the guys, which Katilda didn't mind. The newfound fame they had become enraptured with didn't tamper with their so-called "schedule" to have fun, kick back and relax. Even the super rich have to have breaks from the everyday doldrums of errands, chores and work.

Blik had indeed changed, but his friendship towards Gordon and Waffle hadn't. Whatever came down the road, they would always remain friends. Even if something strange happened, like nearly getting abducted by a strange alien race that wanted to see what made these sentient _speaking_ cats tick. Luckily things like that rarely happened (that's a LIE). Although despite the random quality of their lives, which made matters all that much more exciting, the brothers remained close, and would for as long as their nine-lives lasted.

The End


End file.
